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TJ
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4/24/2003
08:25:36
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 Subject: TJ's story, part 3
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TJ’s story, part 3
Part two ended on Monday, with a note.
Because of religious observance, we are abstaining from sex for the rest of the week. Nevertheless, on Tuesday, I got up while she was in the shower & fixed her coffee & got the paper. I stopped by her workplace & left another note in her car, saying nothing in particular. I just thought she might be expecting one since I had left her notes the last two days she had been working. After all, things are changing between us for the better, & I’m trying to muster all the thoughtfulness & “knightliness” that I can manage.
By the way, on that score, since this whole thing began over a week ago, I find that I’m not only trying to be more thoughtful with doing things around the house, but also that I’m giving more attention to my appearance. Again, it’s mostly little things she might not notice – making sure I don’t forget to brush my teeth at night, staying well-shaved, trimming my body hair, keeping cock & balls shaved. But since I belong to my Lady, I ought to keep myself tidy for her.
Putting it into practice, 4th encounter
On Wednesday morning, we both woke up early, my wife because of sinus trouble, & me for no good reason. Since I began to confess my desire to serve her seven days ago, we’ve spent a lot of time snuggling (it’s as if we were dating again). We were both in bed awake this morning, & with intercourse out of the question, of course we snuggled. Snuggling for me invariably means a raging hard-on & dripping pre-cum like I don’t know what. I confess that snuggling with TJ is messy business.
As we snuggled, a thought came to me. I asked my wife to hold my cock in her hand. She could stroke it if she wanted to, but she was content just to hold it, & so was I. While she held my cock in her hand, I told her how much I was enjoying the frustration of wanting her so badly but not being able to have her. I encouraged her not to withhold affection from me out of fear that I would just get aroused when I couldn’t do anything about it, because I liked the way it felt to be aroused. (Maybe I’m laying the groundwork for some serious cock teasing in the future...) I told her that when I am home alone & horny it is often very hard for me to keep my hands off myself. She understood this. Still, I told her, as long as I was her knight, that I would not cum, I would not cum, I would not cum, until *she* gave me release or told me I could, & that if she decided it was not time for me to cum, that I would wait until she decided it was time.
And you know what she said? She said, “Thank you. That’s a very nice gift.”
WOW! What a woman! I just handed over control of my orgasms to my wife & she accepted it as a gift. What can you say to that?
Incredible. Hidden submission is beginning to come out of the closet. Things are moving along so fast!
Writing about this only a few hours after the fact, I’m beginning to realize the gravity of what I’ve done. I do love my wife dearly & trust her implicitly, but I think this step is going to need some follow-up. After all, one of my complaints has been that she almost never initiates sex. I’d better be sure she understands it’s a Really Big Deal for a man to give up control of his orgasms & that such a gift implies some responsibilities ... like seeing to it he gets a few. I don’t want to take back my offer, or give it to her with strings attached, but such a gift needs care, not neglect.
We’ll have to talk some more...
***
If I can pause in my narrative for a couple of reflections, I would say, first of all, in my experience there is real, genuine importance in gestures, ritual & symbol when dealing with sex. If there are other men who are looking to do what I’m doing, I’d suggest they not neglect the kinds of little things they did – or should have done – when they were first dating their wives. Send flowers or candy to her workplace. Leave notes where she can find them when you’re not around. Fetch her coffee & refill her cut without asking. That sort of thing. Women do seem to appreciate it. And men *can* be thoughtful & romantic if they put their minds to it.
Also, I knelt before my wife & proclaimed myself her knight when I offered to serve her sexually. I had her hold my cock when I gave her control of it. I think these kinds of gestures reinforced the seriousness of what I was saying & made for a bigger impact.
Consider, too, that if you’re thinking about introducing your wife to one of the websites linked to this one (namely the Real Women Don’t Do Housework site), then you might want to think about anticipating some of the things she will find there. Have her hold your cock while you talk about sex, for example, as I did. If you decide to develop your relationship along that route, it might make things easier later on.
Second, I am wondering if there is a real advantage to opening up to your wife & expressing your submission to her during times when you are not having sex, or at least not reaching orgasm. A brief hiatus, such as my wife & I are on right now, really is encouraging nightly snuggling & the kind of serious conversation that is making the transition towards caring domination possible. I don’t know if it would be wise to bring up these issues during her period – not all women are at their best during that time of the month, & such things are mysterious beyond my ability to say – but maybe there are times when sex just isn’t possible or convenient & you’d be more likely simply to talk than to act. Like when you’re in a hotel room with your kids asleep in the other bed, or when you have house guests. I don’t know what more to say other than it might help.
***
Putting it into practice, 5th encounter
Wednesday night we snuggled some more & I got to talking again. I told her I was still amazed at what I had said in the morning: that being her knight, I would not seek sexual release except when she gave it to me. She really did consider this a gift & was grateful for it. I explained that my heart was already hers, my mind would be hers if I hadn’t lost it, she had my body, & though I had told her many times before that my cock was hers, I really, really meant it: my cock belongs to her & is there for her pleasure. I told her that I didn’t want to give her this gift with strings attached, but that I was afraid that she might neglect it, to my frustration (& the erosion of our progress towards caring domination, by the way). She promised to “look after the care & feeding” of a man’s cock. And I believe her.
Having talked so much over the past several days, I asked her what she thought about all this, since she hadn’t said too much herself. She was amazed that I had opened my heart to her like I had (note to other men: I think this is what meant the most to her out of all of this), but found it all a little confusing, what with me giving her my bodily organs & all. I tried to simplify it all by telling her my two basic concerns (which I described in the first part), 1) I really do want to serve her, & 2) I really do want more sexual attention myself. Having talked about these things, she said it clarified things a lot.
We went on then to have one of the most open & easiest conversations about sex we’ve had in ages. I described the frustrations I listed in part 1 (her never initiating sex, not paying me much attention, etc.). She said she would do what she could to fix that. We talked casually about various ways to make sex better for both of us. I told her that she was moving up from Lady to Queen & that if things kept going as they were, she’d graduate to Goddess in no time. She seemed to like that idea.
We ended our conversation by me recapping the main points. Was she glad I was her knight? Yes. Was she happy to fill the role of my Lady? Yes. Was she comfortable with this arrangement? Yes. I wanted to treat her like a Queen. She’d give me no fight on that count; she thought she could get used to it. I promised we would explore this idea some more (time to introduce her to the website?). She said okay. Could I continue to serve her? Yes. Was she comfortable with the gift of my cock & taking control of my orgasms? Yes.
After that, we decided that things were getting too hot, especially since we couldn’t do anything about it for four more days. We decided it was best to cool it for a while. I didn’t have anything else I wanted or needed to tell her right now anyway, so I told her that I would wait for her to initiate sex & ask for my service when the time came. She said she would. I told her I couldn’t wait to serve her & fuck her eyes out. After that, we tried to get to sleep...
(To be continued)
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